Why Finding a Guild is like Dating

I am no stranger to recruiting players and have talked to dozens of people over the past month who are interested in what we have to offer.  We often chit chat a little bit.  We ask each other questions and get to know each other.  If I get any responses that are deal breakers I stop them right there and thank them for reaching out and let them know that this conversation isn’t going to go any further.  If we are on the same page during our initial conversation I invite the potential recruit to come play with us on a specific night.  I set the time, the place and tell them what to bring.  We see if it’s a good fit.

The world of building algorithms for matching us up with another person has gone from being a scary taboo corner of the internet, to the mainstream way to met people.  So why are we still relying on general boards and yelling in the middle of town to find people to play with in our guild?  It seems like our recruiting methods are 100 years behind.  We must rely on our voice being heard and someone noticing that we are looking for someone to fill a hole in our social group.  If only I could filter a long list of warlocks that are looking for a raid group and swipe right once I found someone who might be a good fit?


Recruiting members for your guild is like courtship in the early 1800s where your best bet is to have some obscure connection to the person that you wish to pursue.   We spread the word that we are looking for someone and hope that against all odds that the perfect person will hear our call.

Once we start building a gaming relationship, it is much like dating.  We put on our best outfit (gear), spend hours thinking about what we are going to say and how best to impress our date(do crazy dps and try not to eff up).  We screw up(not on purpose) and make mistakes and show this person we want to impress that we are flawed human beings and see if that is enough to scare them away.  Sometimes both of us want a second date and more than a couple times I would end up waiting for my date to show up, just to figure out that they had blocked my phone number.

There were a couple of times that I decided that I didn’t want to continue building a relationship with someone because their personality did not mesh well with the rest of us.  Now those could have been messy breakups, but for the most part they were mature about the rejection and moved on to someone who would appreciate their unique personality.  I want to know about your experience making friends in games?  How did you meet?  What about them made them a good companion?

4 thoughts on “Why Finding a Guild is like Dating

  1. My server(s) have, at least in my mind, been an odd duck. Borean Tundra was/is unique in that it hasn’t been around since Vanilla WoW, it was opened a few months into Wrath, was if I had to liken it to anything the first attempt by Blizzard to make a Classic server. It was only open to new characters, no transfers, no stockpiles of gold, or BoA gear. For the first few months we were all new. Once the AQ gate event was done, they opened it to transfers in and for people to get out. Those that were new to the game, or wanted a fresh start are the veterans of the server today with coming up on 10 years in the game. It’s always been about having a good reputation for us. Anyone that tends to be a jerk or ass usually ends up making their own guild, changing the way they act, or going off to another server. We are a little community on our own. I am more than willing to give someone a chance. If things work out great, if not? I hope you leave on good terms and we are always here if you would like to come back. There have been a few over the years that have just pushed the limit too far and they have been removed. It’s not a long list, but there are a couple.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I remember back in the day when if you earned yourself a reputation then it was hard to escape it. If you were known to be a ninja or a bad apple, it made it much harder to join a guild or to find groups for dungeons. Of course changes to the game made it harder to be a ninja and group finder gives you a much bigger pool of players to game with so your reputation doesn’t matter as much.

      Liked by 1 person

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